Subhanallah... the other day I went to the monthly sisters' meeting and the topic discussed was Hijra and why we came here and why we would not go (if we wont that is). I think it was brought up in light of the many of us who have returned back after coming here for hijra, and may Allah be with all of us and help us through our various struggles and ease our various burdens ameen.
Then somehow I ended up here and read my own WHY Algeria post that I made when I'd been year for about a year and a half...
Its been 5.5 years now mashallah and alhamdulillah alhamdulillah... I love it here even more. Not because I love Algeria... I've come to realize that it is impossible for me to love any one place. I truly feel incapable of loving a place and identifying with it...even the super lovely Zanzibar.
I can identify with a particular thing located in a particular place and even enjoy that place and those things while there but no place calls to me any more (except the Ka'aba and al Madinatul Munawar!!... I'm coming inshaAllah).
In the years that have passed, I've come to realize even more that this world is truly tambara bovu... not something of any worth whatsoever, except what I can take from it to make my true home better and more enjoyable for me.
Things in this dunia will come and go, days, money, friends, loved ones, hardships, struggles, sicknesses, small children, messes, dirty dishes, tasty food, good books, beautiful sunsets... nothing lasts. Absolutely NOTHING lasts... so why pursue things that do not, and cannot last... who has the time?
Now, I love it here because it helps me to keep pursuing what is eternal and lasting inshaAllah... The outside of my batiment area is not pretty, organized or fancy... I'm not moved to go out there and sit to sun myself or let my kids play ball or take pics to share with my loved ones... That means I have more time to focus on my home and my self. To try and create a beautiful environment both physically and emotionally for my loved ones when they come home or come to visit me.
In Algeria, there aren't many amusement parks and water parks and other large entertainment areas one can go pour money and waste time at, just to escape the boredom of their houses and their things and the lack of meaning in their personal time or their relationships. Here, people cultivate themselves, cultivate their homes, cultivate their relationships, cultivate their children and their friend and family bonds... at least way more than they do in the west.
Here, I see the people. I see the individual people... In America and in the UK, they were just masses of moving bodies that I went around or dealt with with minimal contact as much as I could because they were just... you know... not fitting into my box...
But in Algeria, there are no boxes... at least not individualized specialized boxes where you get to pick and chose and only the ones that 'ajib you get to go into the box. Oh no... here, you get the ones you hate, the funny ones, the rude ones, the ones that will never fit next to you, the ones who are just out to use you, the ones that pay you no mind, the ones that befriend you to gain something out you, and not things of the akhirah either, but dunia things like money and clothing and parcels from the west, etc... You get people who are selfish and those who are helpful and you get those who practice, don't practice, semi practice and those who are just confused about the whole matter...
In the UK in particular, my world was nice and organized. I went to work and ignored the masses of moving bodies that were my co-workers unless it was necessary. Then I went home to my small family and did the muslimah sacrifice thing, then I went to the masjid and got me some very beneficial knowledge and with time, Allah blessed me with friends. My friends were ALL like me more or less. We had the same views, we prayed the same way, we read the same books, we attended the same halaqas and learning centers, we raised our kids the same way, basically we were copies of each other, more or less. And whoever couldn't hang, after a while would drop themselves or be dropped by us... we just stopped hanging with that person because well, she was different you know, she didn't dress like us or agree with our views on certain matters or whatever. It was never mean or hurtful, we called it 'moving on'.
In Algeria on the other hand, you land here and each of your in-law has a different view of you, your kids, your move here, the way you practice, how you raise your kids, how you conduct yourself in various situations, how you dress, etc... The people here are established and you are this strange stranger with strange ways and views and strange expectations of people and life etc.
If you expect neighbors to welcome you to their houses and do tea parties and to form bonds with them based on your mutual love of Allah... forget it... They have their own way and lives and issues and if you were strong enough to move here and insist on staying here after they've kindly advised you to return where you came from because Algeria is not the UK and not the West and life here is hard and miserable and things just don't go right (even for them)... and you keep on staying... their obligation is done and the rest rests on you...
So then your mettle is put to the test, your convictions are tested, and your very soul perhaps is brought to the edge of the fires of this world.... Many don't survive and if they do, they aren't whole, they are just managing, just limping along, just enduring because maybe its the only way left or there really is no way back or the way back involves painful choices they aren't willing to make...
and so they wait and endure, all while pining away for what was...
So you will hear some say, it was better there, I was stronger there, my Islam grew and thrived there... and here... I'm just a shell of who I was, I can't/haven't progressed. I'm lonely or people here aren't practicing properly etc... and they just stay here for the husband, the kids, the guilt, maybe the hope too that one day Allah will accept the effort and the sacrifice made despite the hatred that has taken root in their hearts....
But I challenge myself and anyone who accepts... SEE OUTSIDE THE BOX. This is real life, not fantasy. This is reality, not make believe. In the UK, myself and others lived the theoretical Muslim life, where everything had a place and time and accepted section. Friends were selectively chosen and maintained. And some of those friends were even re-ordered into roles of family, such that when you give birth, they will come and cook and clean your house, and when you want to have date night, they will gladly mind your children for the hasanaat of it. And if you asked anything just about, you were never turned away. It was beautiful but it was a bubble that cannot survive outside the contrived construct of our imagination and personal desires and gratification.
Here in Algeria, you are called to be patient even when you are wronged. You are called to bite your tongue even when you are callously angered. You are called to look for the good in every person who comes your way, even if they curse you out as your are driving and swear they didn't do the thing they just did and you saw it with your own eyes. Your neighbors and people you have to interact with are not all at your level of practicing (whatever that means!). Sometimes, your neighborhood had druggies and thugs and loud girls who giggle uselessly and you know they are Muslims!
Sometimes, maybe many times, your hubby can't fulfill his promise to you, not through lack of want but because for some reason, here in Algeria, things move at a snail's pace and everyone does just what he/she wants regardless of your perceived needs.
It is by no means a lawless country but for example, if you want to process your residency, the time it says it will take and the time it actually takes RARELY ever match. If two drivers decide they are going to argue out their frustrations on the road, then traffic can pile up for miles and no one comes to sort it out, the people themselves have to sort themselves out... (which I find so funny but my dh finds it VERY frustrating. His nightmare on earth is traffic and sick kids!!)
If the shopkeeper wants to potty, he randomly closes the shop then Allah ghalib! LOL... I love it here... people just have their own rhythms and honestly, its about finding a way to dance to the different beats as they sway in and out of your life...
Anyway... the point I'm making, after being so long winded about it is this:
Location is irrelevant. Run to Allah and the Rasul (salatu wa salaam) and let Allah take care of the rest. Why are we bothered? Its HIS world, and HIS people and HIS laws. Just do what you are told to do and don't mind those who don't. To Allah, for my every dua and call and wish, I've never been unblessed. He has always responded though I have fallen short many times to realize that the answer has arrived, yet I've never been left out or chocked out...
To me, living here, Allah is more real, people are more real, situations are more real and my iman as a result is more real so what is not to love about it?
What some see as negatives, for me... there are no true negatives. There are difficulties yes and things I may not like for sure, but all is from Allah, what is there to be dissatisfied with? I do not suppose, for even a moment that Allah could not have put it somewhere "better", with "better people and circumstances and situations and provisions"... I know He can and yet here I am and over and over again He tells me trust in me, follow me, race to me, sacrifice for me, give to me, be with me, and I will always save you, catch you, help you, protect you, be there for you, answer you, remember you, be with you...
What is there for me to dissatisfied about? This world and everything in it, along with myself, belong to Allah. Over it and over me He has all the power, dominion, decision, ability and will. Who am I to say, Allah, you made a mistake, this is the wrong husband, wrong house, wrong country, wrong set of children, wrong circumstances, wrong amount of provisions, etc... I am owned and where I am and who is around me and what is around me, is also owned... what is there to be satisfied about?
So yes. Algeria is still right and will remain right till Allah takes it away, just like if He had taken me somewhere else to be with other people and circumstances...
The key to hijra is to focus behind the meaning of the move and to look away from the location of the move. The location is temporary and ascribing permanence and importance to eclipse the meaning and purpose of the hijra itself will destroy the hijra faster than gravity with a falling egg.
Maybe we focus on the location because we can see and feel it and judge things about ourselves through the 'reality' of it. But I know that humans can survive anywhere and in under almost any conditions... If we can focus on the why we are here and do our best to make that a reality, the where of it will assume its proper place and for me, that is to learn how to get to closer to Allah through both what we have and what we do not have...
and Allah knows best.
and I make dua for all the believers, to make hijra with their hearts to Allah. There is no better location than next to Allah and He is as close to us as our jugular vein so be close to Him and seek Him and follow Him and adhere to Him and biidhnillah, whatever is on this earth will be not only temporary but also a blessing for us inshaAllah.
AllahuMust'an wa Huwa al'Azeez alHakeem
Then somehow I ended up here and read my own WHY Algeria post that I made when I'd been year for about a year and a half...
Its been 5.5 years now mashallah and alhamdulillah alhamdulillah... I love it here even more. Not because I love Algeria... I've come to realize that it is impossible for me to love any one place. I truly feel incapable of loving a place and identifying with it...even the super lovely Zanzibar.
I can identify with a particular thing located in a particular place and even enjoy that place and those things while there but no place calls to me any more (except the Ka'aba and al Madinatul Munawar!!... I'm coming inshaAllah).
In the years that have passed, I've come to realize even more that this world is truly tambara bovu... not something of any worth whatsoever, except what I can take from it to make my true home better and more enjoyable for me.
Things in this dunia will come and go, days, money, friends, loved ones, hardships, struggles, sicknesses, small children, messes, dirty dishes, tasty food, good books, beautiful sunsets... nothing lasts. Absolutely NOTHING lasts... so why pursue things that do not, and cannot last... who has the time?
Now, I love it here because it helps me to keep pursuing what is eternal and lasting inshaAllah... The outside of my batiment area is not pretty, organized or fancy... I'm not moved to go out there and sit to sun myself or let my kids play ball or take pics to share with my loved ones... That means I have more time to focus on my home and my self. To try and create a beautiful environment both physically and emotionally for my loved ones when they come home or come to visit me.
In Algeria, there aren't many amusement parks and water parks and other large entertainment areas one can go pour money and waste time at, just to escape the boredom of their houses and their things and the lack of meaning in their personal time or their relationships. Here, people cultivate themselves, cultivate their homes, cultivate their relationships, cultivate their children and their friend and family bonds... at least way more than they do in the west.
Here, I see the people. I see the individual people... In America and in the UK, they were just masses of moving bodies that I went around or dealt with with minimal contact as much as I could because they were just... you know... not fitting into my box...
But in Algeria, there are no boxes... at least not individualized specialized boxes where you get to pick and chose and only the ones that 'ajib you get to go into the box. Oh no... here, you get the ones you hate, the funny ones, the rude ones, the ones that will never fit next to you, the ones who are just out to use you, the ones that pay you no mind, the ones that befriend you to gain something out you, and not things of the akhirah either, but dunia things like money and clothing and parcels from the west, etc... You get people who are selfish and those who are helpful and you get those who practice, don't practice, semi practice and those who are just confused about the whole matter...
In the UK in particular, my world was nice and organized. I went to work and ignored the masses of moving bodies that were my co-workers unless it was necessary. Then I went home to my small family and did the muslimah sacrifice thing, then I went to the masjid and got me some very beneficial knowledge and with time, Allah blessed me with friends. My friends were ALL like me more or less. We had the same views, we prayed the same way, we read the same books, we attended the same halaqas and learning centers, we raised our kids the same way, basically we were copies of each other, more or less. And whoever couldn't hang, after a while would drop themselves or be dropped by us... we just stopped hanging with that person because well, she was different you know, she didn't dress like us or agree with our views on certain matters or whatever. It was never mean or hurtful, we called it 'moving on'.
In Algeria on the other hand, you land here and each of your in-law has a different view of you, your kids, your move here, the way you practice, how you raise your kids, how you conduct yourself in various situations, how you dress, etc... The people here are established and you are this strange stranger with strange ways and views and strange expectations of people and life etc.
If you expect neighbors to welcome you to their houses and do tea parties and to form bonds with them based on your mutual love of Allah... forget it... They have their own way and lives and issues and if you were strong enough to move here and insist on staying here after they've kindly advised you to return where you came from because Algeria is not the UK and not the West and life here is hard and miserable and things just don't go right (even for them)... and you keep on staying... their obligation is done and the rest rests on you...
So then your mettle is put to the test, your convictions are tested, and your very soul perhaps is brought to the edge of the fires of this world.... Many don't survive and if they do, they aren't whole, they are just managing, just limping along, just enduring because maybe its the only way left or there really is no way back or the way back involves painful choices they aren't willing to make...
and so they wait and endure, all while pining away for what was...
So you will hear some say, it was better there, I was stronger there, my Islam grew and thrived there... and here... I'm just a shell of who I was, I can't/haven't progressed. I'm lonely or people here aren't practicing properly etc... and they just stay here for the husband, the kids, the guilt, maybe the hope too that one day Allah will accept the effort and the sacrifice made despite the hatred that has taken root in their hearts....
But I challenge myself and anyone who accepts... SEE OUTSIDE THE BOX. This is real life, not fantasy. This is reality, not make believe. In the UK, myself and others lived the theoretical Muslim life, where everything had a place and time and accepted section. Friends were selectively chosen and maintained. And some of those friends were even re-ordered into roles of family, such that when you give birth, they will come and cook and clean your house, and when you want to have date night, they will gladly mind your children for the hasanaat of it. And if you asked anything just about, you were never turned away. It was beautiful but it was a bubble that cannot survive outside the contrived construct of our imagination and personal desires and gratification.
Here in Algeria, you are called to be patient even when you are wronged. You are called to bite your tongue even when you are callously angered. You are called to look for the good in every person who comes your way, even if they curse you out as your are driving and swear they didn't do the thing they just did and you saw it with your own eyes. Your neighbors and people you have to interact with are not all at your level of practicing (whatever that means!). Sometimes, your neighborhood had druggies and thugs and loud girls who giggle uselessly and you know they are Muslims!
Sometimes, maybe many times, your hubby can't fulfill his promise to you, not through lack of want but because for some reason, here in Algeria, things move at a snail's pace and everyone does just what he/she wants regardless of your perceived needs.
It is by no means a lawless country but for example, if you want to process your residency, the time it says it will take and the time it actually takes RARELY ever match. If two drivers decide they are going to argue out their frustrations on the road, then traffic can pile up for miles and no one comes to sort it out, the people themselves have to sort themselves out... (which I find so funny but my dh finds it VERY frustrating. His nightmare on earth is traffic and sick kids!!)
If the shopkeeper wants to potty, he randomly closes the shop then Allah ghalib! LOL... I love it here... people just have their own rhythms and honestly, its about finding a way to dance to the different beats as they sway in and out of your life...
Anyway... the point I'm making, after being so long winded about it is this:
Location is irrelevant. Run to Allah and the Rasul (salatu wa salaam) and let Allah take care of the rest. Why are we bothered? Its HIS world, and HIS people and HIS laws. Just do what you are told to do and don't mind those who don't. To Allah, for my every dua and call and wish, I've never been unblessed. He has always responded though I have fallen short many times to realize that the answer has arrived, yet I've never been left out or chocked out...
To me, living here, Allah is more real, people are more real, situations are more real and my iman as a result is more real so what is not to love about it?
What some see as negatives, for me... there are no true negatives. There are difficulties yes and things I may not like for sure, but all is from Allah, what is there to be dissatisfied with? I do not suppose, for even a moment that Allah could not have put it somewhere "better", with "better people and circumstances and situations and provisions"... I know He can and yet here I am and over and over again He tells me trust in me, follow me, race to me, sacrifice for me, give to me, be with me, and I will always save you, catch you, help you, protect you, be there for you, answer you, remember you, be with you...
What is there for me to dissatisfied about? This world and everything in it, along with myself, belong to Allah. Over it and over me He has all the power, dominion, decision, ability and will. Who am I to say, Allah, you made a mistake, this is the wrong husband, wrong house, wrong country, wrong set of children, wrong circumstances, wrong amount of provisions, etc... I am owned and where I am and who is around me and what is around me, is also owned... what is there to be satisfied about?
So yes. Algeria is still right and will remain right till Allah takes it away, just like if He had taken me somewhere else to be with other people and circumstances...
The key to hijra is to focus behind the meaning of the move and to look away from the location of the move. The location is temporary and ascribing permanence and importance to eclipse the meaning and purpose of the hijra itself will destroy the hijra faster than gravity with a falling egg.
Maybe we focus on the location because we can see and feel it and judge things about ourselves through the 'reality' of it. But I know that humans can survive anywhere and in under almost any conditions... If we can focus on the why we are here and do our best to make that a reality, the where of it will assume its proper place and for me, that is to learn how to get to closer to Allah through both what we have and what we do not have...
and Allah knows best.
and I make dua for all the believers, to make hijra with their hearts to Allah. There is no better location than next to Allah and He is as close to us as our jugular vein so be close to Him and seek Him and follow Him and adhere to Him and biidhnillah, whatever is on this earth will be not only temporary but also a blessing for us inshaAllah.
AllahuMust'an wa Huwa al'Azeez alHakeem
